Dating guy going through divorce
You also end up keeping company with someone who is aloof, moody, defensive and/or crabby. If your separated man isn’t seeing much of his kids, this should be seen as a warning, not a “bonus” (cause it’s more time spent with you, right? One reason he’s not parenting could be because he and his wife are disagreeing over child custody and access.
Maybe she’s maliciously blocking the kids from seeing him, maybe she has excellent reason to block him, maybe a court date (or five) lies ahead in his future.
And not to say that you aren’t special, but his infatuation with you has less to do with who you are than how this relationship is presently making him feel.
Rest-assured, his garbage is going to come out – and lucky you, you’ll end up helping him sort it.
.” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes with a host of issues and complications that spell drama, stress and heartache to a woman.
The bottom line is that going through a divorce requires a lot of him – he must grieve, heal, hash through legalities, potentially adjust to single parenting and financial limitations, as well as rediscover a new sense of who he is today.
When he minimizes or avoids the topic, however, it suggests that either he has not yet worked through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); or, he hasn’t yet hashed through the legalities (or possibly even begun). He can’t just flick it off his shoulder as he would a bug. Anger is a normal and healthy phase for your separated man to go through.
If he continues to blame his wife and doesn’t express remorse, it means he hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions and will feel more entitled to cheat again (on you).It’s a mentality of “this bitch owes me” and he’s speaking from the Victim position. That being said, if your separated man was unfaithful in his marriage, you need to proceed very slowly and spend extra time assessing his character, behavior, and moral code.Two important warning signs to watch for are self-justification and blaming.The thing about anger is that it uses up a lot of energy and space in your separated man’s brain and heart.That’s energy and space that he can’t and won’t channel into you in positive ways. He doesn’t consistently spend time with his children.
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Accepting that that dream has died – and that he –is a painful process that requires the healing hands of time. It amazes me how many men are two, three, even important and it’s far more than “just a piece of paper.” In addition to providing some legal closure, it brings more emotional closure. Your separated man could be angry at many things: himself, a legal battle, women in general, even life.