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Stepping away from her drama will leave you in a more peaceful state and better able to support your husband.Unless you were intentionally nasty and cruel to her, please stop beating yourself up, wondering what you did to make her hate you.
[Read: How to have a perfect new relationship] Why do you want to get back? But have you asked yourself why you genuinely want to get back with an ex?
If you want to get back with someone, think about all the difficulties and happy times you’ve had and ask yourself if you really need to experience it all over again.
Are the differences repairable, and are both of you compatible with each other, especially when you’re considering a long term relationship.
And while you’re at it, please stop trying to be overly nice to her while she continues to show you she has no interest in forging a relationship with you. Her acceptance or lack of has nothing to do with your value as a person or a stepmom.
There are probably a million emotions she hasn’t processed or isn’t of working through and she just might not be able to accept you. Let go of trying to please her and focus on what really matters— you, your marriage and your family.